O-Tay!

Ladies and gentleman we have just made our initial descent into Atlanta, GA.

We will be arriving at Gate B27. . . That is Bravo 27. . . I and the Norfolk, VA flight crew would like to thank you for flying with Delta airlines. It was a pleasure serving you. We also would like to thank our military service men and woman on board for their service and protecting our country (applause).

Now sit back and relax. We should be landing shortly!

Flight attendants please prepare your doors for arrival.

CROSS CHECK!

WHOA, I’m back in tha A!

Man that was a long week. My job sent me to Virginia Beach, VA for training and let me tell ya. The Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Norfolk, Suffolk, Newport News, hell DAMN TIDE WATER area is sumthin’ special ya’ll.

However, dem military mens and stuff.

CAN WE SAY HOLLA-LU-JUS!

When I tell ya, a uniform does a body good. A negro ain’t lying!
HEAR WHATTA SAY!

Anyway, let me tell you my ordeal this week.

After a long day of sitting in my training class I decided to head to the gym for my usual work-out routine. I headed over to Bally’s Total Fitness on Virginia Beach Blvd.

A kidd worked it out. I was sweating; mad hard then realized . . . ummm, B . . . seriously, fo’ real, fo real you only did two reps.

What in the hell? Can I get some ventilation up in here? Clearly, the new LA Fitness facilities in ATL have me spoiled. However, the sights made it all worth it.

Dem, military Puerto Ricans, be lookin’ thick, and solid, in all the right places. They kept me motivated.

But, Lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwdddddddddd, Soulja Boy # 5 . . .all the way live, walked in. I said, WELL NOW!

Sergent Jerome!

YES SIR!
I BOW DOWN SIR!
DROP AND GIVE YOU TEN SIR!
I WOULD LICK YOU FROM HEAD TO TOE SIR. (Oops, did I say that out loud)

Now Sergent Jerome I so respect your Don’t ASK, DON’ TELL, policy but bruh’ if you stare at me one mo gin’ in the mirror. I gonna have to call you out! Because, clearly you overlooked the 30 second stare rule. Boo, you suspect. But, I ain’t mad cha!

Doesn’t working out in a wife beater and Timb’s, do somethin’ to ya?

Alright, enough of the eye candy I decided to head back to the hotel, but, somehow my vehicle veered off to the left and ended up at Mickey’ D’s.

Hmmm, this GPS Navigation system clearly has a mind of its own. His name must be Kitt from Knight Rider because he knew what my body needed.

I guess he figured a lil’ snack-e-snack wouldn’t hurt.

I know, I know, that hot grease on them scrumptious fries isn’t good for my diet. But, hell BITE ME!

As I proceed to the counter a cute young lady said “ Humph, welcome to McDonald’s can I take your order?”

I thought to myself, alright lil’ momma, yeah, let me have a #1 with a Dasani water. However, I would like some new fries right out the grease, please.

Yeah, I got you. You like dem’ fresh hot fries HUH, me too!

As soon as I paid for my order, Candida (Side Bar – Isn’t that name similar to some oral or vaginal infection or somethin’. G’rl what was your momma thinkin’?) she turned around and said. . . UMMM, I’m sorry I can’t fulfill your order, we dun’ ran out BUNS.

OMFG. . . I thought I was Buck-Wheat. I said O-TAY. Come again?

We ain’t got no’ mo buns.

No lil’ G’rl… Really! NO SERIOUSLY!

HOW IN THE FUDGE YOU RUN OUT OF BUNS?

She would never say, I don’t order supplies!

See this is some BULL-ISH!

Only in VA Beach would this happen.

Can you wait for a minute, we gonna get some mo' from another McDonald’s.

I said what? Umm, hell naw, but I’m so gonna have to talk about ya’ll on my BLOG. She looked at me as if to say and you still ain’t gettin’ no damn sandwhich.

Damn-it I had to eat some Chicken McNuggets by default.

Tidewater peeps. Ya’ll Straight GHETTO! That don’t make no damn sense!

But, shout out to Feather N Fin’ Chicken and Seafood in Norfolk. That's some good ol’ Ghetto Fried Chicken.