It's My Bodily Pleasures ~ Gimme A Break!

I woke-up this morning in my Abercrombie & Fitch fitted boxers, left nostril stuffy to no end and smelling like Eucalyptus oil and Menthol courtesy of Vick’s VaporRub.

Just lookin’ like a picturesque Sexy Black Man!

Ummm . . . NOT!

Well, it's 10:00 a.m. on the dot and fam’ I have to get somethin’ off my chest.

No this is fo’ real . . . No seriously . . . THIS IS REAL TALK!

I truly have a dilemma on my hands. Now perhaps my female counterparts and even some men may not understand, but, I’m about to be Streak-Free with an original shine. I need to be transparent with this ordeal.

WINDEX Anyone?

I have an addiction. Okay, rather two addictions. I mean really they go hand-in-hand for me!

FUDGE … Here I go.

I FUCKIN’ LOVE PORN (not to mention sex as well)!

Whoa, I said it . . . Yet, why doesn’t my lover get it?

Now, peeps everyone has their vices, their defects, their blemishes, and their shortcomings. And, mine is just a trivial, minor, yet, small defect entitled PORN-SEX. (I rather use a hyphen instead of the & sign. I can’t have too many vices now can I?)

Some people love shopping, others may have a shoe fetish and not just women either. There are some brotha’s who have so many sneakers you would think their CEO of Footlocker. Others, like to watch cartoons and play video games (i.e. my BF), some get twisted, some get wasted, however, I prefer to watch a fine ass (Neh-gah) beat that sh*t up.

Yes sir!

It doesn’t matter whether it’s straight, interracial or my chi-chi men getting it in . . . I’m game for watching or participating in sex.

Now I like to give my lover a break . . . You know so they can recuperate and allow that goody-goody to regain its tightness. So what’s a man to do? I have a perfect solution. I seek out my fantasy lovers.

But, why-o-why is this a problem?

OMG!!!! MY LOVER GETS SO PISSED OFF, and loses their damn mind!

Of course and argument ensues and I say get over it . . . I’m A GROWN ASS MAN!

Not to mention, I knew I had this addiction before I met them, so I gave them a disclaimer. I distinctly remember asking them, “Do you have a problem with your man watchin’ porn. No seriously, because I love it.” Their response was, “I don’t get off on porn, it does nothing for me, but, if that’s your thing do you.”

Now clearly, they didn’t realize or understand my statement when I said “I LOVE IT”.

I mean a kidd had an extensive collection stemming back to when I was thirteen years old. I mean some premium F**kin, and I threw it all away, because, they had an issue with it.

The things you do in the name of love.

DAMN-IT.

It took me months to get over that crap.

However, they feel as if their inadequate or that I wish I was with these fantasy stars.

And as a man, let me be real. I perhaps have envisioned myself having a rendezvous with my fantasy stars, but, hell I’m entitled to that. Not to mention Beyoncé, Halle, Lisa-Raye, DMX growlin’ in the background has been thrown in the mix as well.

I’m sorry, at the end of the day I have a DICK, and the DICK attached to me goes thru these things. Hell, they don’t call me B’WOOD for nothing!

Not to mention I’m all about the visual . . . The internet messed me up, I tell ya.

I get off on moanin’, the yes daddy, beat my pussy up, F**K that Dick is good, OMG . . . I’m cummin’, I can’t take no mo’ . . . I can’t take no mo’, Is that all you got?, Gimme that Sh*t, Buss that F**kin Nut, Weak ass (Neh-gah), Tears, Sweat, Ass, Dick Fo’ Days, Ass bouncin’, slappin’ that ass, shivering from the aftershock of a hot orgasm, and literally watchin’ someone drunk off of love that their eyes roll back in their head as the intensity of their orgasm produces this volcanic eruption consisting of this white creamy substance that merely has me salivating.

I allow myself to get enraptured in the moment and allow my ego to hit new levels sayin’ to myself DAMN, KIDD – JOB WELL DONE!

Mentally and physically I’m there. I can’t explain it, but, my mind is there.

I’m such a sensual and carnal man that my sexual appetite craves it every damn day!

Damn, at this exact moment my manhood is literally peepin’ thru the slit of my boxers as if it’s sayin’ bring that ass ova here.

It’s crazy I know, but, should I have to apologize for it because I’m in a relationship.

Even, when I ask them to join in my experience, they so get turned-off.

SO I ASK YOU FAM’ . . . WHAT’S A KIDD TO DO?

Eric Benet can’t be my only bredren’ out there.

If so, then Mr. Benet maybe they have a two for one special for Porn and Sex Anonymous!