BRING IT ON MR!

9:47 a.m. Thursday, December 17, 2009 . . . AND I’M PISSED THE F**K OFF!

At 5:13 a.m. my BF got on my last damn nerve.

I tell ya fam’ . . . I was getting ready for work just heated.

My vain was pulsating on the side of my head while he was standing there, suckin his teef', with his panties all in a bunch.

Damn-It!

When I’m hott, I’m liable to say any damn thang.

So I ask you fam’ . . . Why are relationships, so damn hard?

I arrived at work, just as late as could be, and instantly went into dialing mode.

I need a legitimate referee to handle this matter!

My Momma and Daddy aka Pops gotta’ hear this bull-ish.

Now mind you it was 8:20 a.m. Atlanta time and since I’m from Cali it was only 5:20 a.m. their time.

Their phone kept ranging, and ranging . . . Until my Momma finally answered, and nastily replied . . . “BOI, what in the hell you want? I’m getting ready for work.”

“Well, damn. . . glad, I’m not dying or anything. I so feel the love.”

I digress. . .

“Momma I need to vent.”

“Ummm, well, I love you in all pookie-pooh, but, I got’s to get ready for work so you need to speak to yo Daddy.”

"But, when I get to work, call me so I can look like I’m busy."

WELL, AIN’T THAT ABOUT A BIT**!

"Alright, fine put Pops on the phone."

His half sleepy ass . . . answered . . . “Yeah . . . B . . . WHAT THE HELL YOU DO NOW?”

“Pops, why are relationships so hard?”

This negro would never say, “because there are, now BYE?”

“No seriously, I need help” . . . “Son; you know you don’t have any patience.”

“HEAR WHATTA SAY . . . NONE!”

“You know relationships take patience, sweat, tears, and a real . . . Ummm . . . well in your case . . . a real MAN, that can have your back when times get hard.”

“Really, POPS . . . Did you really go there?”

“No I’m fo’ real . . . Big Daddy B. . . You ain’t exempt.”

“You want everything to be Peaches N’ Cream, and unfortunately life don’t operate in that manner. And, if the truth be told, if everything was A-okay, you would be bored out of your mind with that relationship.”

But, Pops (me sounding like a big ass baby) . . . “I’s tired, of fussing!” “He’s getting on my last good . . . I mean last real good . . . nerve.”

And, he calmly responded, “and you’re getting on his.”

He said, “your generation doesn’t stay in there for the long haul.”

And, I said “WHY SHOULD WE”?

“NO SIR!”

“When you’re young, you don’t have time for nonsense, well at least I don’t.”

And, perhaps you’re right, “however, keep living.”

“As you grow and mature, the silly things you’re fussing over now wouldn’t seem major down the road.”

“At the end of the day you want, real, genuine, authentic, sincere, vintage, LOVE!”

“And, I believe that’s what you got.”

“So son, you can vent, shout, yell, kick and scream and if there still there, take a deep breath and just say to yourself, well damn, they must be alright!”

“I tell ya, you ain’t missing too much out there, son.”

“You think you are, but, you would be surprised how so many people look to be a pretty package on the outside; however, when you unthread that pretty wrapping, you see a mixed up mess!”

“So son MAN-UP!”

“Smooth out those rough edges, and polish what you have.”

“Because, I’m here to tell ya . . . I’m routing for your BF.”

“Not to mention, Lord knows you’re a handful.”

"Pops, I clearly need and instruction manual, because, clearly your not on my side. I need to be able to turn to page 91 and read up on the chapter entitled:"

“WHEN YOUR NEGRO HAS PISSED YOU OFF”

“I love you Pops, but, Bruh . . . I’m callin’ MOMMA!”

Sidebar – He would never say, now you know I wear the big drawls’ around here.

Hmmm, Pops are you certain about that . . . because last time I checked she was the QUEEN BEE, and you was a lil worker Bee. . . Thus, get it right Pops . . . get it RIGHT!