DOB~June 12, 09 - My Offspring Tryin' To Look Cute!

Damn-It B’wood, your such a push-over!

It’s 5:02 a.m. on a Sunday morning, and I’m sitting outside on my patio, waiting for this Yorkshire Terrier # 154699 to handle his bizzness.

Now, lucky for him I’m a morning person, but, the question of the day is.

Where the hell is my BF?

Humph!

That Negro sleeping, surely not keeping their end of the bargain.

Well, here’s the T my peeps.

Yesterday, my BF woke-up sounding all pitiful and sad.

Two seconds later I hear a whisper, or perhaps some type of sound. So I attune my ear, making sure I eliminate any distortion coming from the background.

It sure would be nice to have a lil’ pup, don’t you think so B?

Now on some real TLC tip B’wood must have been Lost in Translation, because I know someone dun’ lost their damn mind.

So I said, Cha’mon . . . One mo’ gin?

Big Daddy B . . .

(Oh, really I’m Big Daddy B now, Ummm, Hmm . . .Oh, you putting it on thick I see)

I think we need to have a little companion.

Well, I said hamsters are cute and cuddly! Not to mention they like to stay tone and fit with their lil’ in-house exercise gym that comes fully equipped.

Oh, real funny B!

Naw, shorty . . . I’m rather quite serious you see. Because, we had a dog once before that was given as a gift. That little pedigree pissed all over the place. Was oh so cute, but, was a chronic pisser. So that required B`wood to commence to ass kickin’!

NO’ Ma’am! Not my cup of T.

Babe, I put a Grey Hound ticket around his collar and shipped his lil’ ass on!

Now, anybody who knows B’wood, knows I’m truly a neat freak!

It’s sad, yet, oh so true. Clearly, I want my house to look like the cover of Fine Living Magazine. My Design and Décor is rather contemporary and sleek, with a mix of retro and modern accessories.

I built my home from the ground up, a year and two months ago. Thus, my shiny hardwood floors, and creamsicle color carpet does not agree with pee, chew, scratch and poo or to be more specific brown doo-doo!

Not to mention it doesn’t compliment my patterned pillows, fabrics, rich textures, accents walls, and leave when I want to, come as I go freedom too!

Yet, why at 5:52 p.m. Saturday afternoon I’m being introduced to my surrogate mother Dam Queenie Stryker who gave birth to lil’ man, who now has become my lil' snicker pooh!

I swear his whimsical smile and black and tan colored coat, began lickin’ me and damn-it that was all she wrote.

Now ya’ll know my tall ass, should not be walking around here with my grown man chest sticking out, especially carrying this punk ass dog that perhaps can fit in a cute lil’ Louis Vuitton pouch.

Yet, what can I say, lil’ man has me cheesin’ so hard, and I must admit I feel like a proud DAD . . . No Doubt!

Side Bar ~ He can’t stay Collar # 154699 forever, any suggestions my peeps!