LOOKING FOR A J.O.B.

J-LO IS LOOKING FOR AN ASSISTANT AND HERE ARE THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THIS A-LIST POSITION.

1. NO HOODRATS (MUST BE GRACEFUL UNDER PRESSURE)
2. NO BACKLIP (MUST HAVE THICK SKIN)
3. NO EBONICS (SPEAK ENGLISH AS WELL AS OTHER LANGUAGES)
4. MUST BE RESOURCEFUL IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES
5. NO WARRANTS AND MUST HAVE I.D OTHER THAN YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE (MUST HAVE A PASSPORT - BE EXPECTED TO TRAVEL AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE)
6. YOU GONNA WORK EVERY DAMN DAY (6 DAYS A WEEK 12HR DAYS)
7. YOU BETTA ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE (ON CALL 24/7)
8. ON POINT (BE ORGANIZED)
9. AGAIN DON'T ACT HOOD (MUST BE COMFORTABLE AROUND "VERY HIGH PROFILE PEOPLE")
10. BABYSITTER (CHANGE DIRT DIAPERS)
11. MUST BE SINGLE (NO PARTNERS)
12. YOU DON'T NEED SLEEP (WORK ON VERY LIL SLEEP)
13. YOU BETTA KNOW HOW TO WORK A STOVE (COOK WHEN THE BUTLER IS OFF)

ALL THIS FOR $55,000.00 - $65,000.00.

Side Bar ~ And in the famous words of Janet Hubert aka "Aunt Viv" from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air “If you want me to kiss your A.S.S., put it in my contract!”