Stately is so classic

The day in the life of b~wood is rather intriguing.

Just like clockwork my stomach began to roar as if it was the carnivorous plant (Audrey II) in the Little Shop of Horrors. It just kept screaming FEED ME, FEED ME! I said simmer down shorty. I will feed you in a minute.

Nonetheless, I gave in to its beckon call and proceeded to the corridor to catch the elevator. I patiently waited for the elevator to arrive on the 22nd floor. DING.

Me being me, I said, ooooh goody two additional passengers will be enjoying this ride down to the ground floor. I made my way to the back corner of the elevator and tuned in to the conversation that was already in session.

("Ooh g'rl I just love your color in your hair, what color is that. (Side bar: Now her crap is fried, dyed and laid to the side, looking dry brittle and a mess. Why she lying?)

This is ol' school I just poured some peroxide in my hair like we use to do in the 70's! She said WHAT? (Side bar: LAWD, I thought I was Ms. Sophia, I said to myself, of course. GRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, oooh-wee, you better start shopping for some Anna Mae wigs now. All yo stuff will be gone. She gonna need to start over with a kiddy kitt from Just FOR ME! Now you know, all these products out today, what in hell is she thinking?) Shhh, back in session . . .

Ooh, naw g'rl you shouldn't do that, I use Herbal Essences by Clairol. They have bodacious browns. (Side bar: I said well damn -itch, are you some damn walking infomercial for Clairol, some damn bodacious brown; get the freak out of here!). You should try it. It moisturizes very well. I'm trying to get the Michelle Obama look. (Side bar: Now both of these sisters got some Oh' my Nappy HAIR thang going! So can we get some Carol's Daughter in their lives, Dr. Miracle, somethin'. I tell ya, First Lady Obama is inspiring, but, shorty-do you got a long way to go!).

DING! Ground Floor - You have arrived at your destination!