B'itch STOP BLINKIN'!

Now fam’ . . . You know B’wood don’t like talkin’ about people.

No Sir. . . No Ma’am . . . Can’t Do It . . . Won’t Do it.

It’s just not in me.

So today, I’m not talkin’ about know one. I’m just merely expressing, my lucid opinion, angle, outlook, or perspective on the situation.

Check it!

Now, it’s January 20, 2010 . . . 12:15 p.m., mostly cloudy day with temperatures steady near 58 degrees in Atlanta, GA.

As ususal I decided to go to the café to see what they had on the menu.

Hmmm, something has to tickle my fancy.

Well, since a kidd is tryin to eat healthy I ordered Tilapi fish topped with tomatoes, side of cabbage, green beans, and a refreshing 20 fl oz bottle of Dasani water courtesy of The Coca Cola Company.

Now, as I approached the register I saw my favorite cashier, Shanika.

You know Sha-Sha, or Neek-Neek.

Now Shanika is a style maven around these parts. Some days she has her hair braided, pressed, gel-ed, sewn in, glued in, purple curly tendrils hanging on the side, or the front side swooped bang with red tracks for flava covering one eye.

Ummm, Hmmm . . . You never know what Neek-Neek gonna do.

I mean G’rl is Fly.

Whether sassy curls, beach waves, sexy hair pieces to fill-in her bob, she ain’t playin!

She clearly takes pride in her hair, it’s a masterpiece!

But, today she was rather reserve.

I said, hold-up. . . Something wrong with this picture. G’rl why your hair is slick back with some non-greasy, alcohol-free, will not flake, Ampro Pro Styl Gel (32.0 oz jar) that’s on sale at Walgreens for $4.29 today.

Is your hair beautician on vacation or somethin’?

Oh, no I just wasn’t in the mood.

I said oooh, okay.

Then she blinked at me. I said damn . . . burrr . . . why in the hell I feel chilly all of a sudden?

You feel that draft?

Shit, does somebody got on a Diva fan around here?

OOOH NAW, B . . . that’s my new lashes. . . You like em?

Neek, now you now I’m all about being stylish. But, G’rl when your eyelash extensions are so long, topped with my Aunt Kizzy Faux Fur Shawl on the tips and has the power to create precipitation at higher or lower altitudes than normal, make whirlwinds travel pointing lengthwise in any direction, absorb ambient electromagnetism and output it as powerful electric blasts from her body, flash freeze objects and people, coalesce atmospheric pollutants into acid rain or toxic fog, and summon wind currents strong enough to support her weight to elevate herself to fly at high altitudes and speeds, B’itch that’s a problem.

G’rl yo name aint’ STORM!

I said this heifer about to incite a tornado in here. G’rl your about to F**k of the ecosystems.

Neek, I can’t fool with you today, I just can’t do it!

If you don't stop blinkin', it gonna look like Haiti in a minute.

Whoa, lawd I tell ya . . . a day in the life of B’wood ain’t easy!