Aint' This About A *itch!

Good Morning,

Fam’

It’s October 21, 2009, and I need to vent and perhaps take a Vicodin for good measure.

No seriously. . . I’m about to be locked-up like Michael Vick.

This morning, I woke-up to chaos, disarray, disorder, havoc, as if Hurricane Katrina did a drive-by on my house last night.

My lil’ Yorkie aka Maxwell, sent me thru the roof this morning.

When I tell you I was livid, truly, that is an understatement.

Yet, this is how it all went down . . . This lil’ smart fudge-uh-a-mutha-sucka is only four months old, but, is so smart that he knows how to unhook his latch on his cage.

So what’s a Negro to do?

I had to take measures in my own hands and purchase a lock to make sure he doesn’t get out. However, just like lil’ babies, he doesn’t sleep all thru the night. So he plays with his toys, bangs them on the cage as if his first cuzzo is BAM-BAM from the Flintstones.

Don’t get me wrong he’s a boy, so he got a lil’ thug in him which is kinda of hott! So lil’ man ain’t no punk he’s definitely starting off on the right track. I mean he’s humping his little best-friend/stuffed Monkey aka Curious George all the days long.

I mean literally I whipped out a notepad. I said damn, he flipped him over in one position, and was banging his back out with one leg up. I said, ummm, Maxwell, let’s start from the beginning. Show me that again, because I clearly missed how you did that smooth transition. Yeah, that's it that flip-over motion.

Hmmm, I guess he figured out early his position in life.

Did I hear someone say T to tha O to tha P!

AWWWW, Yes just like his daddy. Hmm, does me proud!

I digress. . .

However, B~wood needs his beauty rest. I mean let’s face it, I need to get at least 6 to 7 hours of sleep so I can wake up looking spry and like Dark Gable in the morning. . . Get it Dark instead of Clark Gamble. . . Hee, Hee!

Anywho, Bang-umm-Up Maxi is on play mode all night. Biting the cage, throwing toys out the cage, lifting up his ooh so soft bed, and basically losing his damn mind. So hey, my BF suggested let’s put him in the guest bedroom, close the door and we can get ourselves some ZZZZZ’s.

However, this is where the ~ish hit the fan. THIS NEGROID, forgot to put the lock on the damn cage.

So, me waking up at 4:00 a.m. this morning, singin’ to myself . . . it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, feeling so happy and free thought I was in for a great day.

Hmm, I thought to myself, let me go get Maxwell since I have the morning shift and walk him, let him do his business, take a shower, and get ready for work.

SHAZAMMM . . . . THE MINUTE I OPENED THE GUEST BEDROOM DOOR, I LOST MY DAMN MIND.

This lil’ Black and Brown breathin’ terror pissed, and shitted and ripped up my Obama Collection of Magazines and O magazine with Oprah and Michelle Obama on the cover. Ms. Winfrey first special edition cover where she shared the cover with someone else.

I had the Obama magazines when he was announced President of the United States of America and a comic book that was rather expensive with President Obama and Spiderman. I had the Time Magazine, New York Post, Ebony, Jet, New Yorker, Atlanta Journal, Rolling Stone, all these magazines not to mention Michael Jackson tribute magazines all chewed up and shredded to pieces on the floor.

I screamed my BF name so loud, that he jumped up so fast, he didn’t know what happened.

So, today I’m pissed, and researching Pet Euthansia and Negro Euthansia, because if they even breath my name or come near me, I will revert back to the eighteen year old B~wood from South Central, Los Angeles.

I swear LOVE AIN’T EASY!