Sexual Eruption

Alright, fellas I know I ain’t alone on this one.

Today is Tuesday, August 11th, 2009, nothing special just an ordinary day.
However, at 10:48 a.m. a B! Xclusive took place that was quite embarrassing.

Now I started my day off fine, so I thought. I woke up feelin’ a little drab but pulled myself together and cleaned up pretty well. I was looking rather dapper if I don’t say so myself. But, it wasn’t like I was tryin’ to toot my own horn or anything, but, for the record toot-toot!

I had on a nice crisp, ironed to a T, slim fit, stretch-poplin, light blue dress shirt, straight brushed cotton dress trousers, and slipped into my new overpriced $110.00 dollars, Brockman style, Aldo dress loafers. A spritz of Issy Miyake “Intense” on my neck and of course down below, so Big man can smell ooh so good as well!

I mean damn, can I preserve my sexy? Let’s face it, a good smelling man is priceless!

So yeah, I was feelin’ myself. I looked in the mirror and said alright B! . . . Not too shabby. You’re looking Handsome and Debonair, yet with Professional Appeal!

Now when I arrived at work I said hmm . . . these pants feel a lil’ snug. Now B you know at the drop of a dime Big Man sporadically makes an appearance throughout the day from time to time.

But, naw today I should be all good!

Now mind you I wear a size 12 ½ - 13 shoe. I mean no pun intended, but, when a kidd is up and strong, it looks pretty damn good in that department. Not to mention the self-loving sessions be off the chain.

But, I digress. . .

As I walk down the corridor a few lady co-workers walked pass me and cheerfully said, “Good Morning B”, and I politely said Hey.

Ques? Humph, is it me or did they just undress me with their eyes? Why do I feel so naked and violated, yet, ooh so hot and sexy! B, you surely must be trippin’; however, maybe they were checking out my new assets, because those squats at the gym have to pay off some day. Nonetheless, I slightly looked back on the sly and realized they were still staring and grinning too damn hard. I wonder what’s that all about. Anyway, I proceeded to my destination, and then as soon as I hit the corner . . . SHAZAAM . . . I passed another coworker!

Now, how can I say this . . . Hmmm . . . Let’s just call this coworker Jack or Jackée (which ever you prefer) from Will and Grace, says, Whoa, B aren’t we up and at em’ this morning! Must be those Wheaties, while staring down at my crotch.

OMFG, I almost died.

I made a sharp right into the bathroom and said down boy, down!

Now I’m a very sensual dude, so I must admit sex is on my mind literally 24/7 including weekends, Holidays, and lately even Canadian Holidays! But, shouldn’t I have better control of my sporadic erections?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad Big man is always ready to tear down dem’ walls. Hell, I’m a freak so I like to beat it up, let them catch a break, and go hard for Round 2. (Side Bar: I’m getting hard just writing about it). But, clearly not at work, that’s so not a good look.

So yeah, I sat at my desk all day today. And, here’s the kicker, why Big Man kept staring at me, like What? . . . What I do? I just want the business, I mean minding my business!

I so wanted to say, you’re so own punishment right now!

I thought maybe if I called my friend that perhaps maybe they would have a solution or help me think of other things; however, to my dismay I received neither solution nor sympathy.

They would never tell me . . . HUMPH, I can see you now looking like a bowl of Chili.

Just HOT AND MEATY!

I tell ya, a day in the life of B`wood just ain’t easy!